Loren Ward and her mom
End the Stigma is a series that tackles issues related to unplanned pregnancies. Our founder, Loren Ward, draws from her unplanned pregnancy experience to change the attitudes and conversations around this topic.
I was an unplanned baby.
My mom was 19 years old when she found out she was pregnant. She received a lot of judgment, criticism and shaming from the people around her. She didn’t receive any support from my dad and his side of the family, and eventually he left her midway through her pregnancy.
She had dreams. She had a calling in life to become a nun. But my presence in the womb changed the trajectory of her life.
My mom had difficult choices to make, and I am grateful every day that she chose life and did her best to give me a good life.
There was pressure to terminate her pregnancy. Without my dad in the picture, I cannot imagine the loneliness she felt during that season of her life.
But again, she chose life.
I believe one of the factors that motivated her to continue her pregnancy was the type of community she had. I remember perusing through photos of her being surrounded by family and friends during and after her pregnancy. There were pictures of relatives, neighbors and school friends who helped care for me as my mom went to school and worked.
My aunts and uncles worked at least one part-time job to help provide for me. My grandma would bring me with her to the marketplace while she sold vegetables. We were extremely poor at the time, but my mom was rich with the support she received from her community.
I was raised by a village. My mom was cared for by a village. This is exactly what moms and dads facing unplanned pregnancies need. They need community and support. They need to feel that they’re not alone. They need to know that there are people advocating for them.
When I went through my unplanned pregnancy in college, people in my life stepped up to make sure I had everything I needed during a turbulent season in my life. People from my church, my family and friend group rallied around me, prayed for me and encouraged me. My boyfriend (now husband) was my biggest supporter.
My encouragement to those reading this is to advocate for the moms and dads who are facing unplanned pregnancies. If you know someone who has an unplanned pregnancy, tell them how strong they are. Ask them what they need help with. Work with them to find resources in the community, like pregnancy care centers, that could help them financially and provide them with maternity care. Bring them meals. Help them with their schoolwork. Lend a listening ear and a shoulder for them to cry on. Go with them to their medical appointments. Tell them how great of a mom or dad they’re going to be!
Advocate and encourage those moms and dads. Go above and beyond what is expected. You never know how that will impact those moms and dads in their decision to choose life for their children.
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