Beka was a 21-year-old college student when she considered abortion. She was unexpectedly pregnant and didn’t know who her baby’s father was. Afraid that she would disappoint her loved ones and go through her pregnancy alone, Beka thought abortion was her only choice.

“Having sex and getting pregnant — that consequence, that sin, is visible. You can only hide it for so long,” Beka says.

CHOOSING LIFE & ADOPTION

Beka felt anxious and overwhelmed. Her unplanned pregnancy flipped her world upside down, and she was unsure how to move forward. One of the guys she had been with even offered to pay for the abortion.

“I was devastated because I wasn’t with this guy. I was just like, what am I going to do?” Beka recalls.

After spending a weekend contemplating her situation, Beka decided to choose life instead. She waited until she was 12 weeks along to tell her parents about her pregnancy. 

“There were some instances where I felt like I couldn’t do it, and I felt like I had too much going on, like I couldn’t afford to be a mom. I was also scared of childbirth,” Beka recalls.

When news of her pregnancy spread, Beka felt ashamed and received judgment from her community, including her Baptist church. She was forced to confess in front of the entire church, which was a traumatizing experience for her.

On top of the shame she felt, Beka felt pressured to choose adoption for her daughter. Her mom told her she couldn’t help raise the baby and insisted that Beka go through the open adoption process.

“In every ultrasound, I wasn’t feeling like I was really connecting to her or anything like that. I separated myself. I didn’t do a maternity shoot. I didn’t have a baby shower. I was fully prepared to place my baby for adoption,” Beka says.

Beka found an adoptive family for her daughter during the last week of her pregnancy and gave birth via c-section at 22 years old. 

“That was one of the hardest days of my life because she didn’t leave with me,” Beka says.

A LEAP OF FAITH

Shortly after labor, Beka received a phone call from the adoptive parents that ultimately changed her life. The adoptive parents had originally planned for Beka to see her daughter frequently. But after finding out that Beka didn’t tell them the truth about who the baby’s father was, they felt like they couldn’t trust Beka anymore and limited her visitations to once a month for an hour and a half.

The change in the open adoption plan didn’t sit well with Beka. She had a few days left before her rights terminated, and she ended up taking her daughter back the day after Mother’s Day.

Her experience going through the unplanned pregnancy and adoption process inspired Beka to name her daughter Lily Faith. She learned to cling to God and trust that God had plans for her and her daughter.

“It took a leap of faith to find the right people to adopt my daughter and then realizing it was a big leap of faith to take her back … That was what God had planned. God utilized those three weeks to work my heart and help me prepare my heart to take her back,” Beka says.

Despite raising her child by herself, Beka didn’t give up on her goals. She worked hard to get her degree while taking 19 credits on top of a full-time job and an internship. Beka says it was her daughter who motivated her to keep going.

FULL-CIRCLE

Beka was a single mom for about seven years before marrying her husband in 2020. Her husband adopted Lily a few months after their wedding when she was 8 years old.

“It was cool to see that — like God did a full-circle moment. I originally gave her up for adoption, and she ended up being adopted by my husband,” Beka says.

Beka and her husband have three children, whose lives helped heal Beka’s heart from the guilt she felt about considering abortion.

“Even thinking about abortion for three days tore me up for several years. I still had to accept and forgive for thinking that because I couldn’t imagine actually having to go through it. It destroyed me every single time I looked at my daughter,” Beka says.

Forgiving herself allowed Beka to share her story with other women who are considering abortion and encourage them to choose life instead. She has also written about her unplanned pregnancy in her book, “The Greatest Risk of All.”

“The greatest risk of all is taking a leap of faith in God, because without faith in God and without pursuing God and a relationship with Him, none of everything that I’ve been through would have been possible,” Beka says.

Beka’s encouragement to those who are facing unplanned pregnancies:

“There’s a reason behind this pregnancy. God doesn’t make mistakes when it comes to pregnancies and knitting that child in the womb. Keep the course. Keep the faith and trust that God has a plan no matter what it looks for that kid … Who are we to dictate who gets to live and stay and who doesn’t? We’re not God. We don’t get to play that. Every single life matters, and there’s a purpose behind it. Their life can help influence others.”

Written by Loren Ward.