End the Stigma is a series that tackles issues related to unplanned pregnancies. Our founder, Loren Ward, draws from her unplanned pregnancy experience in college to change the attitudes and conversations around this topic.
After my second miscarriage, I joined an online bereavement support group for families who’ve experienced natural pregnancy losses. We all grieved the loss of our babies. It didn’t matter if we lost our babies to an early miscarriage or a stillbirth — they were still babies that we love and miss.
Participating in that support group opened my eyes to how hypocritical society is. We’re willing to call a human being in the womb a baby if it’s wanted. Parents who are pregnant will announce that they’re welcoming a baby into their lives. Ads relating to pregnancy and maternity care will label a baby a baby. Parents who’ve lost their babies will say that they lost a baby or a child.
Because a human being in the womb is a baby.
But here’s the hypocrisy … If a baby is unwanted, then we’ll call it a fetus, a clump of cells, a potential human being. If a baby is unwanted, there are people in society who are willing to decide when that baby is actually a human being and worth protecting.
We won’t call a baby for what it is if it’s unwanted because there’s so much weight behind the word baby. It’s easier to kill a life when you have robbed it of its humanity by using language to degrade its worth.
Life starts at conception. It’s basic biology. The “living thing” that’s growing in the womb is a baby. It’s a little innocent human being that deserves to be protected and defended.
When I found myself facing an unplanned pregnancy in college, I happily shared the news to my family and friends. It was a challenging season in my life, but I saw my baby as a gift and as a blessing. That baby might have been unplanned, but she was dearly loved. Not one person dared to call my baby anything else but a baby.
But if I had chosen abortion and told people that I didn’t want the baby, there would be some who would be quick to tell me, “Oh, it’s only a clump of cells. Just get the abortion.”
When I grieved two miscarriages this year, not one person dared to call my babies anything else but a baby. Friends and family grieved with me in that loss because my children died.
But if I had intentionally chosen to kill my baby during that unplanned pregnancy through abortion, I would be alone in my grief. People would tell me, “Oh, it was only a clump of cells. It’s nothing.”
Whether a baby is wanted or unwanted doesn’t dictate its humanity and personhood. It is a human being. Period.
Holding on to this truth and speaking about it is crucial if you or somebody you know is facing an unplanned pregnancy. Remind that friend or that family member or that stranger that there is a baby worth protecting in the womb. Remind them that the baby, though unplanned, deserves a chance to live.
You never know how that little reminder can change someone’s mindset and encourage them to choose life.
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