Facing an unplanned pregnancy as a teenager didn’t stop her from pursuing success and graduating from college. She has been working as a lactation consultant, advocating for moms as they navigate pregnancy and motherhood.

Amber had just turned 15 years old when she found out she was unexpectedly pregnant. She was only a sophomore in high school, and the news of her pregnancy took her by surprise.

“I had that feeling where it was happening, but I couldn’t connect with what was happening. This was going on, but I couldn’t really make sense of it. I think it was disbelief,” Amber recalls.

PERSEVERING

Amber’s mom was upset about the news, but she encouraged her daughter to stay in school and graduate. Her mom helped her find the motivation she needed to excel, despite her unplanned pregnancy.

“I was the first girl at that school who got pregnant, had their baby, and then graduated. Most other people dropped out … I was stubborn enough to stick it out,” Amber says.

Sticking it out involved dealing with people’s indifference toward her and the lack of support she received from teachers and staff. Amber also felt dismissed by medical professionals because of her teen pregnancy. One of the nurses at Planned Parenthood talked to her scornfully and shared how 20% of pregnancies end in a miscarriage. This only made Amber worry about her situation.

“The way they talked about a baby [getting aborted] like it’s getting a tooth pulled. It was just really gross. And I was like, OK, I don’t ever want to go into that place, and I never did. It’s just really anti-natal, like babies are nothing, and not in tune with the divine beauty and magnificence of women and pregnancy,” Amber recalls.

Amber with her son.

During her last appointment, the medical staff dismissed her concerns about having preeclampsia, even though she was showing symptoms. She ended up having an emergency c-section shortly after that appointment due to preeclampsia.

“As far as my birth went, it was definitely very traumatic and not very empowering. I think the doctors were just very dismissive of me because of my age,” Amber says.

The nurses at the hospital were also dismissive of Amber when she asked about breastfeeding and pumping.

“They were like, ‘Seriously, you’re going to be lucky if you can keep this kid alive,’” Amber says.

Despite all the obstacles she faced in school and with her pregnancy, Amber graduated from high school with a 3.9 GPA and got accepted into all the colleges she applied to.

“A lot of people saw that as she’s done this. She screwed up her life forever. This girl is smart and she was going to go places, but now she’s pregnant and it’s all over, which is ironic because I wouldn’t be remotely as successful in all the different ways as I am now had I not had that experience,” Amber says.

‘YOU CAN DO ANYTHING WITH A BABY ON YOUR HIP’

Amber with her son.

After graduating from high school, Amber attended a local community college and graduated with an associate’s degree in biology. She later attended NC State University where she got her bachelor’s degree in biology.

“I’m a very bullheaded and stubborn person,” Amber says. “I knew I wanted to be successful. I wanted to have a certain level of finances and freedom, and I definitely was unwavering in my commitment to making that happen. I just kept my eyes on the prize to what was the end goal, and I just kept grinding at it.”

Amber’s hard work paid off. With two degrees under her belt, she has been able to build a successful life with a career she is passionate about. She has been working as a lactation consultant for about five years, advocating for moms as they navigate pregnancy and motherhood. Her negative experience with the medical system propelled her to pursue this line of work.

“Doctors aren’t necessarily looking out for you, and the school systems aren’t necessarily looking out for you. You have to really inform yourself and make decisions that you’re comfortable with. With my practice and working with pregnant moms, I’ve really tried to share a lot of that with them because, at the end of the day, I think so many of us, especially women, we’re so trusting and we want to assume that people have their best interests. Sometimes we have to educate ourselves and make decisions and be willing to come face to face with some facts and figures and statistics and just truths about the world that are not always very nice,” Amber says.

Amber with her two sons.

Amber married her husband when she was 19 and has been married to him for over 12 years. She has two sons, her oldest age 16 and her youngest age 10. Her husband adopted her oldest son in 2019.

“Motherhood has been such an integral part of my life … I think it gives you something bigger than yourself that can help you stay focused when you are feeling tired or feeling more down,” Amber says.

Facing an unplanned pregnancy has taught Amber a difficult lesson that she has now learned to embrace: that she is responsible for every single choice she makes.

“No one else is responsible for my health and my sovereignty but me and God. At the end of the day, on this earth, I’m the only person who is in control of anything. It comes down on me like the choices I made during my pregnancy, the choices I make as a mother. No one else is going to be looking out for me,” Amber says.

She encourages women who are facing unplanned pregnancies to be mindful of the decisions they make because they would have to deal with those choices forever.

“The choices come down to you … Whatever choices you make, you have to live with forever … Having a child isn’t necessarily going to be an impetus for your ability to accomplish things. It’s not going to keep you from being able to go to the school that you want. It’s not going to keep you from being able to hit a certain net worth that you want or have a certain lifestyle that you want. You definitely should just remember that you can do anything with a baby on your hip,” Amber says.