Teen mom shares her story on her online platform to help parents and teens rise up during a crisis and change the narrative surrounding unplanned pregnancies.
Ivy was only a 16-year-old junior in high school when a blue plus sign on a pregnancy test flipped her world upside down. She immediately texted her then-boyfriend, letting him know that she had taken a test and that they needed to talk.
‘I THINK I’M PREGNANT’
Her boyfriend’s mom saw the text first and incessantly tried to call her. Ivy didn’t want to pick up the phone. She was stuck in bed, hidden under the covers, terrified of what the voice on the other line would tell her. She was in shock and hadn’t even told her parents yet.
“I was like, I’m not answering this woman, I can’t. I haven’t even wrapped my head around it. She’s just going to yell at me,” Ivy recalls.
When her boyfriend’s mom decided to call her family’s home phone, Ivy jumped out of bed and ran to the living room. She told her mom not to answer the call and said, “Mom, I messed up. I think I’m pregnant. I need help.”
Ivy’s mom responded with grace and took her to the grocery store so they could buy a digital pregnancy test.
“This one actually said the word ‘pregnant,’ and it really started to sink in,” Ivy says.
Ivy didn’t want to wake her dad to tell him the news since he was already asleep, so she decided to write him a note and place it by the coffee maker, letting him know that she needed to talk to him in the morning. After seeing the note, her dad prayed and felt the Holy Spirit tell him his daughter was pregnant.
“He had time to sit and prepare his heart for how he was going to respond,” Ivy says. “He just said, ‘OK, we’re going to do this together, and we’re going to figure it out.’ There were lots of hugs and tears.”
OSTRACIZED
When her boyfriend’s mom continued to call, Ivy’s mom finally answered. This woman blamed Ivy for the pregnancy. Both families met in person a few days later, and her boyfriend’s mom suggested that Ivy place the baby for adoption. Ivy and her boyfriend were rarely allowed to speak once news of her pregnancy came out.
On top of all the stress Ivy was under, she was kicked out of her Christian high school. She grew up being taught about Christ’s love, but she was pushed away by those “so-called Christians” who didn’t represent Jesus well.
Sex wasn’t a topic that was discussed in Ivy’s Christian community and high school. Struggling with sex and keeping safe boundaries within relationships are not out of the norm in high school. However, it was difficult to share what they were going through because of shame and fear of being ostracized.
“Sex needs to be something that’s talked about so our kids are comfortable coming to us when they need help with it. By talking about it with one another, we can help each other out if somebody’s struggling with it,” Ivy says.
After weeks of barely talking with each other, Ivy and her boyfriend went on a date on Valentine’s Day. She wanted to see if they were on the same page about the baby, but he wasn’t supportive. That was the last time they saw each other.
Ivy also lost many friends during that time and felt lonely. She felt that she missed out on a lot of opportunities after she got kicked out of her school.
“My dirt was visible, and most other people’s dirt gets kept under the rug,” Ivy says. “I had to walk around with a giant belly while my boyfriend got to continue life as if nothing happened. I say that was probably one of the most difficult things is just walking into a grocery store with a giant belly as a teenager, and everyone’s staring at you. I wish I would have been more oblivious.”
‘BRING TOGETHER’
Despite her unexpected pregnancy, Ivy pushed through and was able to complete her GED before her son was born.
“It was a really hard time, but I felt like I kind of won the lottery. When my son was born, he was beautiful and healthy. I didn’t care anymore about all of the things I was ‘missing out’ on,” Ivy says.
The news of Ivy’s son arriving in her family came at a difficult moment. Within two months of finding out about her pregnancy, her family was grieving her uncle’s unexpected death. Ivy’s family endured a lot of pain during that season, but her son helped bring her family together by being a light in their lives.
Ivy named her son, Levi, which means “bring together,” before she even knew what his name meant.
“Becoming pregnant really made my family come together because we really had to rely on each other more,” Ivy says. “My parents felt as though my pregnancy and Levi helped their marriage. It gave them a different perspective on life and family because we really had to stick together. You never know what hardships are going to hit your family, so you better be ready to fight them together.”
WALK ALONGSIDE WOMEN
Ivy’s sister was attending a Christian college in Indiana and had told someone at the school about Ivy’s situation. When the college learned about Ivy’s story, they went above and beyond to support her in any way so she could attend college while being a mom.
“I’m not gonna lie, I was nervous by the thought of attending another Christian school. But compared to my high school, this college was the polar opposite,” Ivy says. “My Christian high school came across like, ‘We don’t want anything to do with you. You’re going to hurt our image.’ But here was this Christian college that welcomed their campus up to me with open arms.”
Going through that experience taught Ivy how important it is for Christians not to shame women who are facing unplanned pregnancies. She wants to encourage other Christians to walk alongside women in crisis, ask how they can help, and let those women know they’re not alone.
“We just have to keep reminding them that God still loves them no matter what. Just because you made a mistake, God has never left you for one minute,” Ivy says.
FALLING INTO PLACE
Ivy Whedon with her husband and three children.
Ivy went to college to study psychology while juggling her main responsibility as a mom. She would not have been able to do this if her mom had not supported her. Ivy’s mom moved to Indiana and lived close to campus so she could watch Levi while Ivy went to school.
“My mom had the highest level of selflessness. She quit her job and was willing to live hundreds of miles away from my dad for a while. She was always saying, ‘I’m going to help you no matter what. We’re going to do whatever we have to do to make this work,’” Ivy says.
While in college, Ivy met her husband, whom she started dating during her sophomore year in college.
“My son really helped me find a better man because I knew this person was also going to be the father to my son,” Ivy says. “I knew what my son deserved, and I knew what I deserved after countless abusive relationships and being treated poorly.”
Ivy and her husband have now been married for five years and have three kids.
“It really just fell into place,” Ivy says. “If I would not have gotten pregnant when I was 16, I probably would have just continued down the wrong path, and I could have stayed with somebody really bad. But I met my husband, and he’s the most kind and humble person I’ve ever met, and I’ve been so blessed.”
@THE.TEENAGE.MOM
Ivy worked as a crossfit coach for seven years while doing some work for her family’s business. She’s planning on getting a master’s degree in counseling, but in the meantime, she is focusing on being a mom and growing her online platform to help teens and parents.
Through her Instagram account @the.teenage.mom, she shares content relating to motherhood. One of her missions is to help parents prepare for unplanned teen pregnancies.
“If my kid were to come and say they were pregnant, how would I react? Sometimes, you are your only kid’s support, and they should be able to come to you when they need you in their most difficult times,” Ivy says.
Ivy Whedon with her husband and three children.
Being a mom changed Ivy’s mindset and perspective on life. She believes that her role as a mom is to help her children become great humans and love the Lord.
“Babies are such a blessing, and they just totally make your life so much better in my opinion,” Ivy says. “That is one of the things that is so difficult for me to understand about women having abortions. A lot of women think that these babies are going to ruin their lives, but they really just enhance it, make it better, and make you a better person. I know many women don’t have the same support, and I hate that for them. I’m such a better person now that I have these kids because you have to clean up your act so you take care of them better.”
Ivy wants to encourage women who are facing unplanned pregnancies to keep their faith and hope that something good will come out of their situation.
“You’re going to get through it, and the only way to get through it, is to go straight through it. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help,” Ivy says.
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