Teen mom experienced two unplanned pregnancies and uses her passion for writing to encourage others to choose life and change the narrative on adoption.

At 16 years old, Leah experienced a colossal upheaval in her life as she wrestled with the reality of being a teenager with a baby on the way.

“Is this the life that I want? Is this the life that I want to give to this baby?” she found herself asking. 

“I feel like my teenage pregnancy, finding out that I was pregnant, helped me to really evaluate who I am, where I’m headed,” Leah says. “It really was the crossroad-defining moment of I’m going to make a different choice, and I’m going to do better for myself and for this baby.”

Leah’s teen pregnancy was the wake-up call she needed to better her life. She found support from her family and saw a counselor to help process all the emotions she was feeling as she navigated her new life as a teen mom.

Tug of war

When the birth father found out about Leah’s pregnancy, he insisted that she either get an abortion or place the baby for adoption. He didn’t want anything to do with her or their child. Even though Leah was encouraged to have an abortion by several people in her life, she believed that choosing life was the right choice. 

“There was just this innate knowledge that she had purpose,” Leah says. “It was not my job to decide her worth in that way.”

As much as Leah wanted to parent her child, she could not find peace with that decision. She was willing to sacrifice a lot of things to be a mom at 16 and to provide for her baby, but that choice didn’t comfort her at all.

“It felt like this tug of war between my heart and my mind … and so that led me to really explore adoption even more,” Leah says.

Leah had not heard about open adoption until she met with birth mothers who shared their stories. Hearing about their experiences made Leah realize that there was a way for her to provide her baby with a stable, two-parent home that she wished she could provide as a teen mom.

Radical love

Leah Outten with Kaylee and Kaylee’s adoptive mom

As Leah explored the idea of open adoption, God was nurturing her heart and her faith through the people around her. She saw the love of Jesus in her parents and in her church family. It was encouraging for her to see God pursuing her faithfully through the valleys and mountains of her life.

“What helped those seeds of faith to bloom and start to grow was the way my parents reacted, and the way my church reacted was really radical and they just loved me,” Leah says.

During her seventh month of pregnancy, Leah went hiking with her mom and stood at an overlook where she could see the beautiful landscape for miles. She felt the Lord unveil her eyes to see that only God knows the big picture of her life. God wanted her to trust Him with her future, and in that moment, she surrendered her life to the Lord and chose adoption for her daughter.

“For me, faith was a big part of my journey,” Leah says. “I really felt like God was leading me to that decision, and I finally found peace with adoption and just trusting that we were going to be OK and we were going to be taken care of.”

The adoption process quickly fell into place, and Leah found a family that reflected everything she wanted her daughter to have. 

“I just felt like they saw me as a person too, and not just a vessel carrying their potential baby. I was loved and I was seen and I was prayed for. They just welcomed me into their lives, into their home, from the very beginning,” Leah says.

Grieving in the midst of an open adoption

For Leah, choosing adoption was accompanied by layers and layers of grief.

“There’s the realization that I’m not ready to parent and you’re grieving that reality. You’re grieving that they’re going to be the one holding my child and feeding my child and being there for the everyday things that I’m not,” Leah says.

Leah also met with birth mothers who had walked a similar journey. Those friendships gave her the comfort and encouragement she needed during a painful season in her life.

“Some birth parents feel like they can’t talk about any of their emotions and their grief. It relates to disenfranchised grief where you have to separate from it and not feel it,” Leah says. “I was very grateful to be in a home where it wasn’t a taboo subject. They loved her too. They’re missing a granddaughter in their life. They’re grateful for the visits, but we can experience these feelings of joy and grief at the same time and we can talk about her. It’s not something that we have to silence, so that was really helpful that my feelings were always honored.”

Open arms and open hearts

Leah Outten with her husband and children

At 19, Leah experienced another unplanned pregnancy while in college. Her daughter, Kaylee, had just turned 2 years old when she found out she was pregnant again. Leah and her boyfriend both chose life, and their unplanned pregnancy fast-tracked their plans for marriage and parenthood.

“I didn’t feel alone. I didn’t feel rejected. We knew we were going to get married anyway, and this just kind of made it happen quicker,” Leah says. “But to feel like I have a partner in this and someone to go with me to appointments or to pick out names together. It wasn’t all on my shoulders.”

Starting in her sixth week of pregnancy, Leah stayed at a maternity home to get additional support and lived there during her entire pregnancy. She and her boyfriend got married three months after she gave birth.

With the support of her community, Leah graduated from college with her degree in English. She and her husband were homeowners by the time they turned 21. Leah and her husband have been married for over 16 years and now have five kids. 

“People having open hearts and being willing to support other people to get through the crisis of things and to be a foundation for that is so impactful,” Leah says. “It’s so easy to just point fingers and be like you shouldn’t have done this and you’re a sinner and hear that. But to just have open arms and open hearts that we’re all human. We all make mistakes.”

The 16th Year

Leah Outten released her open adoption memoir in December 2023

Leah and her family have walked through open adoption for over 19 years now. They get at least two visits per year with Kaylee, who sometimes stays with them during breaks and takes trips with them.

“It has been a beautiful redeeming experience to have all that God has put together in our life,” Leah says.

Leah felt prompted by the Lord to write her story in a book. She believed that sharing her story would help people understand that open adoption can be a beautiful and redeeming process for the birth parents, adoptive parents and adoptees.

Her book, The Sixteenth Year: An Open Adoption Memoir, is a compilation of journal entries she wrote since her unplanned pregnancy at 16 years old. Leah started writing her memoir in January 2023 and released it in December 2023.

“This is going to be in a book. You need to write this down,” the Lord told Leah years ago. “Capture your memories not just for other people, but so that she has it and your kids have it. It’s part of your family legacy. It’s part of your family’s story.”