She was an 18-year-old college student when she was sexually assaulted. She chose life during her unplanned pregnancy and now serves in ministry to support women who’ve experienced trauma.

Cassaundra knew that she had been violated.

She was raped in an alley by a 30-year-old stranger. She dissociated during the incident and doesn’t remember much except feeling weak and beaten up.

In shock, Cassaundra busied herself by scrubbing her body clean at her dorm. She didn’t feel safe in the comfort of her own space anymore. She was terrified that the man who raped her would find her and hurt her again.

“I didn’t understand why I felt the way I felt … I just didn’t understand why,” Cassaundra recalls.

The trauma left Cassaundra with mental and emotional wounds that would take her years to recover from. And in the midst of it all, she found herself facing an unplanned pregnancy.

‘I would never choose abortion’

Cassaundra was worried about her future. She was only an 18-year-old college student with a baby on the way. Many people around her told her she would be throwing a great career and future if she chose to keep her baby. 

“I felt like it was an honor to be called to be a mom, and then all these people started telling me what a terrible thing it was to be pregnant,” Cassaundra says.

Abortion was not an option for Cassaundra. She knew the truth about abortion and didn’t want her innocent child to be killed, even though he was conceived in rape.

Cassaundra attributes her pro-life values to her upbringing in a devout Catholic family. Her grandmother was a volunteer for Birthright International and showed her an abortion video when she was 10 years old. Cassaundra watched The Silent Scream, a film where a former abortionist showed a baby in pain while it was being dismembered in the womb.

“From that moment, I just remember telling my grandmother that I would never choose abortion,” Cassaundra says. “I’ve also had a really strong love for children. It was just a gift that God had given me.”

Children have worth, even those conceived in rape

Cassaundra Baber’s son, Dakota

After giving birth to her son, Dakota, Cassaundra left her prestigious college in Florida to move back home with her mom in New York. She worked at a retail store and took out loans to go back to college. Cassaundra was able to balance her busy schedule by bringing her son with her to work and school.

Cassaundra’s hard work paid off, and she graduated from Syracuse University with a 4.0 cumulative GPA and a degree in journalism. 

“I was really motivated by my son,” Cassaundra says. “I did a lot of things that people said I couldn’t do. I had a very strong need and desire and this kind of personality that I was going to prove everyone wrong about me and about my son, who I was told should have been dead.”

To this day, Cassaundra still gets told that she chose the wrong option and should have aborted her son. She has even received this message from people who label themselves as pro-life. It’s painful and heartbreaking for Cassaundra to know that there are people who believe her innocent son should have been killed, only because he was conceived in rape.

“I just think it’s really important to understand that there are a lot of women like me and a lot of children like my son who are living and thriving every day, and none of us have ever given anyone permission to use this trauma to support the murder of children,” Cassaundra says. “If I can do anything in this world for our Lord, it is to take our stories back and to give true worth to our motherhood and our children’s lives.”

Freedom in truth

Cassaundra Baber and her son, Dakota

After 20 years in therapy, Cassaundra found the courage to open up about the sexual assault she experienced in college to her therapist. She had been living in denial, so she felt angry when her therapist told her she was raped. But in her heart, Cassaundra knew her therapist was right. 

“All the things started to come together, and I felt free strangely enough because I think I spent a lot of time beating myself up. I was in constant terror of this man coming after me and taking my son. I was always in fight or flight mode, which explains a lot of what I was struggling with on a daily basis,” Cassaundra says.

Cassaundra’s willingness to overcome her trauma opened a door for the Holy Spirit to move in her life and start the process of healing. She also knew that speaking the truth about her son’s conception needed to be done because her child deserved to know the truth. 

So one day after mass, Cassaundra prayed to God and said, “Lord, I know this is the day and I’m scared. Can you help me?”

“I told him the truth. I didn’t want any secrets between us, and I didn’t want the devil to have any power over that secret,” Cassaundra says.

The moment Cassaundra spoke the truth to her 18-year-old son, she was set free from the bondage and oppression she felt from her sexual trauma. It allowed her to take ownership of her story and use it to impact people’s lives. 

For seven years, Cassaundra fought a spiritual battle for healing and eventually overcame her complex PTSD. Now she serves in deliverance ministry in Colorado and supports women who’ve experienced trauma.

Her son saved her life

Cassaundra Baber’s son, Dakota

Cassaundra prays in gratitude every day for having Dakota in her life. She is proud of everything her son does, including his successful career in software engineering. 

She also sees her son as a gift sent from above during a traumatic time in her life. If not for her son, Cassaundra would not be alive today.

“My son did not create chaos in my life. He did not create problems. He motivated me to even be alive,” Cassaundra says. “If it was not for him, I would have committed suicide. Because every time I thought about suicide, I saw my son’s face and I couldn’t do that to him.”