19-year-old Melissa was scared to death when she found out she was three months pregnant. She was in an abusive relationship with her boyfriend, who was an alcoholic and drug addict. They were using hard drugs together, and a baby in the picture wasn’t something Melissa had expected.

Melissa took a pregnancy test at Planned Parenthood and left the facility sobbing. Thankfully, abortion never came up as an option. Melissa’s boyfriend found the news of her pregnancy shocking, but they both decided to choose life for their baby.

“I wasn’t a religious person. It wasn’t a faith-based decision. I just knew there was a human life growing inside of me that I have no right to end,” Melissa says.

another unplanned pregnancy

Shortly after her son, Greg, was born, Melissa fell back into using drugs. She wrestled with it for years until she left her relationship and took her 4-year-old son with her. 

Melissa started dating a different guy right after she left her son’s father. Within three months into the relationship, Melissa found herself pregnant again.

“Unfortunately, part of the reason that I got myself involved with this other relationship was because my upbringing was such that to me the only value and worth that I had was my body and what I could do for a man or what he could hopefully do for me. I didn’t have much hope outside of that, so I jumped into another relationship,” Melissa says.

Melissa’s boyfriend went above and beyond to care for her and the baby. He had just started a business while being in the police academy, but was willing to sacrifice his time to prioritize a baby in his life. He was scared and excited, but he wanted to do the right thing and marry her.

Melissa, on the other hand, wasn’t thrilled at all. She had walked through an unplanned pregnancy already and didn’t feel prepared to have another child. She also didn’t feel ready for marriage. Despite these concerns, Melissa didn’t consider abortion and instead began preparing to welcome another baby into her life.

During a birthday party, Melissa lamented about her situation to two friends, who had abortions. She didn’t want to marry her boyfriend and was unsure how to move forward.

At some point during their conversation, Melissa’s friend told her, “You know there’s another option, right?”

“Honest to God, to this day, I still don’t remember the exact conversation or how it happened, but I just changed my mind,” Melissa says.

She left the party immediately, drove home, and called Planned Parenthood to schedule an abortion appointment.

“I hung up the phone, and I waited for my boyfriend to get home,” Melissa recalls. “I remember him walking in the back door and putting his stuff down like he did every day and happy to greet me. I don’t even remember exactly what I said to him, but I basically told him, ‘I changed my mind. I’m having an abortion, and there’s nothing you can do about it, and I need you to leave.’” 

He wept and broke down with so much hopelessness. He was falling apart in front of her, and there was nothing he could do to change her mind. He left that day, and they never talked to each other again.

“That baby had a father, and I completely disregarded that father. I literally stole fatherhood from him,” Melissa says.

Melissa left Planned Parenthood drowning in agony, grief and pain. She bled for days, the harrowing trauma engulfing her with guilt, shame and regret. 

To this day, Melissa still remembers the wailing sounds of the women who were getting an abortion. The clinic’s somber noises and the women’s mournful moans haunted Melissa for a decade. Those sounds would come and go as she experienced waves of panic attacks.

Melissa lived in denial for many years. Only the people closest to her knew about her abortion.

“I couldn’t bear what I had done and didn’t want to face it. I knew I couldn’t stand up and justify what I did. I knew what I did was atrocious and awful. I just needed it to be done and over, and I wanted to walk away from it and never think about it again,” Melissa says.

Ruth “Ruthie” Jean

Melissa Manion with her husband, four children and grandchild

In 2007, Melissa gave her life to the Lord. She then got married to her husband in 2010.

Two years into her walk with the Lord, she heard God tell her, “We’re going to walk through this now, and then you’re going to go out and help others.” She initially didn’t want to share her abortion experience with other people. But God worked her heart in so many ways and ultimately led her to Save One’s retreat for women who’ve had an abortion.

Attending the retreat in 2018 encouraged Melissa to grieve the loss of her baby. She experienced healing and redemption and later received a vision from God showing her baby girl. Melissa decided to name her daughter, Ruth “Ruthie” Jean, and organized a memorial for her.

Melissa has been able to use her story to encourage women to choose life and to help women find healing after an abortion. Her writings have been published in different outlets. She has been interviewed by Fox News, and her story is shared in different events and podcasts. Everything she does is in honor of her daughter, Ruthie Jean.

“God is so good and gracious to just redeem and restore the fact that I have a smile on my face. Like it’s God and nothing else because I would have dug a hole in the backyard and jumped in it,” Melissa says. “I just know that this is what I’m called to and in some way it gives honor to my sweet Ruthie Jean. I can build some kind of a legacy from the most atrocious mistake that I ever made in my whole entire life.”